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The Dos and Don’ts of Sex Toy Gifting

08 Dec 2023

Sex toys are the gift that keeps on giving. Sex toy gift ideas can be a thoughtful and creative way to show someone you care this holiday season, but it’s also a concept that has some stigma.

Sexperts and Shameless Sex podcast hosts Amy Baldwin & April Lampert share, “Gifting a sex toy not only breaks taboos but it can help the folks you love to enhance the love for themselves by encouraging a new level of adventurous pleasure. And, if it’s someone you truly care about—you may help them find a tool they never even realized they were missing.”

Get acquainted with our sex toy gifting guide for the upcoming holiday season and navigate the process without any misunderstandings.

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Satisfyer in holiday wrapping

Dos of Sex Toy Gifting

1. Communication comes first

Gifting a sex toy shouldn’t be something that comes totally out of left field, and having a conversation beforehand can help you better figure out their preferences. Whether it’s with a partner or a friend, communicating clearly is essential. You can even get a gift card so they can pick their own.

Amazing Intimate Essentials eGift Card

Amazing Intimate Essentials eGift Card

Whether it's a romantic surprise for a partner or a personal treat, the gift card allows them to choose from a range of high-quality adult toys, lingerie, lubricants, and more.

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2. Comfort and openness are key

Picking the wrong toy or giving it to the wrong person can result in awkwardness or someone being offended. Partners should be comfortable with the idea of toys and talking about them. If there’s something they’ve expressed an interest in, go for it! If you’re unsure, open up the conversation in a safe space to gauge their potential interest.

Don’t give one to a family member unless you’re extremely close and transparent about this topic, and the same goes for friends and coworkers.

3. Consider relationship status

For single women, a wand or G-spot toy might be a suitable choice. Coupled individuals might prefer insertable toys or vibrating rings for couples, or even this Clone A Willy kit that lets you replicate your partner’s genitals. Long-distance couples might appreciate sex toys with Bluetooth capabilities.

Couple's Enhancer Triple Clit Flicker

Couples Enhancers Triple Clit Flicker

This silicone rechargeable cock ring delivers toe-curling vibrations for him and her, taking your pleasure to dizzying new heights.

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4. Choose the right toy

Unless you’re sleeping with the person and know exactly what they like or want to try based on past experience, you’ll want to talk it out. Size, looks, and function are the three factors to consider when choosing the best sex toy as a gift. Smaller toys like bullets or suction toys are sometimes more approachable (and ergonomic), but penetration lovers might prefer a g-spot stimulator, dildo, or even this daring double penetration toy complete with vibrations. Those curious about anal play might like an inconspicuous anal plug.

halftone lips For women, clitoral stimulators are often a safe bet and can be used in conjunction with other toys, during masturbation, or partnered sex. They’re a great choice for both beginners and experienced people


In terms of aesthetics, there are more obvious sex toys, as well as ones that have a decorative and discreet look. Talking about all these factors will help you personalize your recipient’s gift and ensure they get something they’re happy with. 

Of course, you can also opt for a non-sex toy that’s more appropriate for White Elephant or Yankee Swap gift exchanges, like these hilarious penis stress balls (pun intended) and penis plushies.

    Penis Stuffy

    S-Line - Penis Stuffy - 12" / 30 cm

    This plush penis is as soft as it is silly. At a foot long, this cock is perfectly sized to spoon on the sofa, nestle under the covers or simply prop on your pillow as a prank.

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    5. Where and how to gift sex toys

    A variety of sex toy gift ideas are perfect for the holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, or bachelorette parties. 

    For a romantic or sexual partner, there are endless options, including wand massagers, vibrators, and couples toys that you can enjoy together. There are also plenty of fun gift ideas for your single and coupled female friends, which we’ll detail more below. This is an intimate present, so it should be given discreetly and one-on-one.

    Finally, never give it in the context of a gag gift or joke. That might make someone feel ashamed or embarrassed, which is the opposite of buying an empowering gift like this. That said, adding a funny card or buying a sex toy gift with playful humor is more appropriate.

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    Vibrator and woman

    Don'ts of Sex Toy Gifting

    1. Don't gift in the wrong setting

    Never gift a sex toy at a party, any crowded setting, and especially not at a workplace, which can be embarrassing for the recipient. Even if the person loves the toy, giving it in the wrong setting can result in awkwardness or someone being offended. The Shameless Sex podcast hosts tell us, “Read the room. Even though there’s no shame in giving sex toys as a gift, it’s still important to create a safe space for the receiver so you don’t leave them feeling anxious or on the spot in front of people they may not be close to.”


    Woman in lingerie unwrapping a present

    2. Don't surprise your partner, and get their consent

    Although it might seem romantic to surprise someone, playing with a new toy is a personal decision that someone must consent to beforehand. Consider toys they might be comfortable with, and don’t try to push them out of their comfort zone. 

    This is a process that requires a high level of trust, and it can even be a sexy form of foreplay to send over some links to potential toys they might enjoy. Spark a discussion and you might learn some new things about your partner.

    3. Never buy a low quality toy

    Quality is priority when it comes to the best practices for offering sex toys. This rings especially true if it’s someone's first experience with a sex toy.

    halftone lips Amy and April add, “Cheap sex toys that are made from porous/toxic materials that can be harmful to the body. If you’re giving the gift of pleasure, then I’m sure the last thing you’d want to do is slowly poison the ones you love with toxic sex toys.”


    Luckily, Amazing Intimate Essentials only carries high-quality, body-safe materials such as silicone, glass, and stainless steel. Avoid jelly and hard plastic toys. Be sure to look for toys labeled phthalate-free since phthalates are toxic.  

    4. Don't be a creep

    If you’re crushing on someone, there are less creepy ways to flirt and get them to crush back rather than giving them something that relates to their sex lives. In fact, if you don’t have a high level of comfort and familiarity with discussing sexual topics, gifting a sex toy can even be viewed as harassment.

    Happy couple unwrapping presents

    4. Don't make it all about you and keep them in mind

    If you are gifting to a partner, it should be based on what brings your partner pleasure and what’s in their realm of experience. After all, this is a tool to enhance their pleasure, not yours. Sex toy gift ideas should never fulfill your own kinks or fetish.

    Don’t get anal or BDSM toys (or anything else they’ve never tried)  unless you’ve had their explicit consent or they’ve expressed an interest in trying it. This isn’t a conversation starter. If they have expressed an interest and you benefit, that’s just an added perk!



    Along with being a thrilling idea for someone you’re having sex with, gifting a pleasure device is a sign of modernity, liberation, and open-mindedness. It’s a beautiful thing—when it’s done correctly. As our sex toy gifting guide has proven, there’s an art to gifting sex toys, and communication and trust come before all else. When you do it correctly (especially with a partner),  it can enhance intimacy and bring you closer than ever before.

     Do's and don'ts of sex toy gifting wrap up

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