The Best Lube for You

Lube is an essential (and versatile) accessory for a healthy sex life. It reduces friction, improves glide, and adds sensation, making for a smoother ride. When it comes to sex of all kinds, the wetter the better, and lube can help you get there. Here’s everything you need to know about common myths, the best lube for your needs, and ways it can boost your pleasure.

Lube myths debunked

The central myth surrounding lube is that if you need more lubrication, you’re not turned on enough.

A lot of women of different ages depend on lubes for enjoyable sex, and being dry down there doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not attracted to someone. It’s not just for menopausal women - dryness can occur due to dehydration, medication side effects, or disorders like endometriosis and PCOS.

Certified sex & couples therapist Dr. Lee Phillips tells us, “There is such a stigma around using lube for younger women because people worry that if a young woman needs lube, it means that she is not turned on and that she is not enjoying sex. People assume that something is wrong with a woman if she is not naturally lubricated enough, and if she does need it, it is a sign of incompetence with sex.”

Dr. Phillips speaks on the untrue myths that using lube means a woman is frigid or sexually deficient, explaining: “It's not a commentary on your sexual function. It doesn't mean you're dry. It doesn't mean you're not attracted to your partner. It just means that you are prioritizing your pleasure! If you're having penetrative sex, lubricant supports the vagina’s ability to stretch during intercourse. Lube also helps with clitoral stimulation, and that’s the primary way people with vulvas reach orgasm. So, lube is your friend!”

Shameless Sex podcast hosts Amy Baldwin and April Lampert call the lack of natural lubrication “arousal non-concordance,” which can be due to shifts in hormones, side effects from medication, or symptoms of stress.

Reasons to use lube

Improve masturbation

Whether you have a penis or a vagina, lube can make things more pleasurable - especially when using sex toys. The feeling of a lubed-up vibrator pressed against a nerve-rich area like the clitoris or nipples can be a game-changer. Additionally, cooling or warming lube can add new sensations.

Makes safe sex safer

Using lube reduces the risk of condoms breaking or slipping off, giving you peace of mind – especially when the penetration partner first enters. This means better protection against STIs and pregnancy. Even if you don’t use another form of birth control, it reduces the risk of irritation, abrasions, and tears, which can lead to injuries and infections.

Increases comfort

Since it reduces friction, using lube makes sex more pleasurable and comfortable for everyone involved. Some people think using saliva will suffice, but your spit doesn’t have a slippery consistency and can lead to uncomfortable sex. Saliva evaporates and dries out fast - plus it contains bacteria that can be irritating, disrupt vaginal pH and even transmit STIs.

Improves confidence

Using lube can help reduce the stigma of not being wet enough, helping people relax more during sex and easing worries about dryness and discomfort. Pleasure is empowering, and when people feel more aroused and sexually satisfied in the bedroom, it leads to a confident mindset.

Makes oral sex more fun

Whether you’re giving or receiving, flavored lube is a delicious way to spice things up in the bedroom. Sex and dessert are two of the best things to indulge in, but applying sugary ingredients like whipped cream to your nether regions can lead to yeast infections. Instead, lick an edible lube off different erogenous zones for the ultimate (infection-free) turn-on.

Essential for anal play

Anal lube is a must since the rectum doesn’t naturally lubricate. Silicone lube is a popular choice - there are even formulas with muscle-relaxing ingredients or warming agents that ease tension and maximize comfort. Additionally, some lubes with a water base are designed for this purpose and fortified with highly moisturizing ingredients.

How to choose the best lube for your needs

Dr. Phillips recommends speaking to either a primary care physician or a sex educator, sharing that the latter usually offer free social media content that discusses lubricants.

He adds, “There are lots of YouTube videos and blog posts as well. Make sure the sex educator whose content you're consuming is a reliable source.” Differentiating between different types of personal lubricant should also help you narrow down your decision.

Types of lube

Water-based lube

This is the best lube for sex toys as it won’t degrade silicone over time. If you’re wondering what type of lube for a strap-on is superior, we suggest using a water-based lube since most strap-ons are used with silicone dildos.

It’s versatile, gentle on the skin, and can be used with all barriers. It may require reapplication since it’s not as long-lasting as silicone lube, but there are plush water-based lubes that are regarded as the best lube for anal due to their impressive lasting power.

Silicone lube

Silicone lube is long-lasting and has a silky texture – a little goes a long way with this lubricant. It’s compatible with latex condoms but shouldn’t be used with silicone sex toys, so stick with metal or glass toys only.

You won’t need to reapply it during your session, making it the best lube for anal. It can withstand a bath or shower sex session, but it might stain bedsheets. To minimize mess from bottles, consider single-use lube packets.

Hybrid lube

For the best of both worlds, opt for a hybrid lube. While they technically contain a small amount of silicone, they’re safer to use on vibrators but still have long-lasting benefits and a thick, cushy texture.

Oil-based lube

Although you might have a little more to worry about with stained sheets, cleanup, and condom breakdown, oil-based lubricants are incredibly long-lasting. Many prefer a coconut oil base—but never use these lubes with latex or isoprene rubber-based condoms (lambskin only) since they can degrade the material.

Important things to consider when using lube

Lube’s impact on fertility

Lubricant may affect sperm’s ability to swim, making it more difficult for it to reach an egg and fertilize it. Still, if you’re trying to conceive, it may not be easy to avoid lube since fertility medications can cause vaginal dryness. Instead, look for sperm-friendly formulas as well as lubes like Intimate Earth Hydra Natural Glide or Wicked Simply Aqua.

If your body is sensitive

For those prone to UTIs, BV, and yeast infections, some lubes can trigger infections. Many people ask the question: does water-based lube cause yeast infections? This is a popular question because glycerin, a common pH disruptor, is an ingredient in some lubricants with a water base.

Glycerin is a form of sugar and, hence, can cause bacteria growth and infections for vulva owners. However, most lubes are glycerin-free these days - just be sure to check the ingredient list. Some of the best lube options for sensitive skin include pjur Woman Nude and Wicked Aqua Sensitive.

Be wary of expiration dates and storage methods

Just like condoms, lube can expire! It usually takes one to three years for this to happen. Not all bottles have a date on them, but if the smell, color, or consistency is different (or if separation has occurred), that’s a good indicator.

To avoid premature expiration, store your lube in a cool, dry place away from heat and sunlight, always securing the cap tightly after each use. If you want to be extra careful, consider keeping lube in a cloth satchel or an antibacterial toy bag.

Avoid low-quality lubricants by shopping with reputable retailers like Amazing Intimates. We have a wide range of formulas for any sexual need – because lube is for everyone!