How to Have Strap On Sex and Top Tips for Maximum Pleasure

A strap-on sex toy is a dildo that can be worn with a harness, allowing one partner to penetrate the other without the use of hands. Most dildos with a suction base are compatible with harnesses, and sometimes, they are available in pegging kits, including both the harness and dildo or multiple dildos.

A strap-on dildo can be used on different body parts like hips, thighs, a hand, or even a piece of furniture. The majority of harnesses are worn like a pair of underpants around the hips, holding a dildo in the frontal pelvis area with either an o-ring (a circular base that holds a dildo) or a suction cup to which the toy sticks.

There are also strapless strap-ons, which don’t need a harness and are kept in place by the user’s body so that both partners can experience penetration. All of these pleasure products can be used not just for penetration but for gender expression.

Why use a strap-on?

And for straight guys who are curious about stimulating the prostate by having their vulva-owning partners wear a strap-on (no, liking pegging doesn’t make you gay!), anal play is for everyone, and all genders and sexualities can use these products. Pegging is a common way to spice up relationships between men and women with a little gender role reversal. This act generally refers to cis women penetrating cis male partners.

Pegging can be a great way to explore the power dynamics in BDSM, with a male submissive who is receiving penetration from a dominant female penetrator. It can also be used during chastity play. Men with erectile dysfunction can either receive penetration from one or can use a hollow strap-on as a phallic replacement if they can’t maintain an erection.

How to wear a strap-on

To use a harness that’s worn around the hips, first, attach and secure the dildo to the garment. Then, loosen the straps accordingly and step into it carefully, one leg at a time. After, pull it up like underwear. There will usually be a waist strap and straps that go over the butt cheeks.

Penis owners wearing a harness will need to place it in an opening underneath the owners. Before using it, fasten the straps to fit your body properly. It shouldn’t fall down during your session, but it shouldn’t feel uncomfortably tight.

Some harnesses are underwear-style and can be worn all day just as you would a pair of underwear, and others, like jockstrap harnesses, have less material around the butt cheeks. Some harnesses have an o-ring to insert the dildo into, while others have a powerful suction base. There are also thigh harnesses, which are great for grinding and for wearers with lower back or hip pain. These are slipped over the leg.

How to use a strap-on

Fancy some foreplay?

Build up to the moment of penetration with foreplay, plenty of lube, and, most importantly, communication every step of the way. First, have the wearer model the harness with the dildo inserted, showing it off with confidence. You can even add a strip tease into the mix. The person receiving penetration can give the strap-on dildo a handjob or a blow job. They can also grind against the dildo, which can be incredibly stimulating for vulva owners. There are also lingerie sets that incorporate a harness, such as crotchless harness briefs with a sexy look. These can be worn on their own or with a bra and fishnets and can really showcase your silhouette.

Always lube up

Wetness is a must for comfortable penetration, so whenever using this sex toy, it’s necessary to lube up, especially if it’s going into an orifice that doesn’t self-lubricate, like the anus. Vulva owners might find using lube makes the experience more enjoyable, especially if playing with a larger dildo. Only use water-based lube if your dildo is made out of silicone. While silicone lubricants are typically thicker, there are water-based lubes made specifically for anal play that feature a thicker, cushier formula.

Communicate with your partner

When the time comes for penetration, communication and consent with your partner are crucial, as with any sexual act. Because the person wearing the harness and penetrating can’t feel the impact they’re delivering, it’s essential that the receiver shares what sensations they enjoy and what they dislike—for instance, moving left or right, going more slowly, or thrusting in a certain way. Some people prefer the sensation of rubbing (rocking the pelvis back and forth) instead of thrusting. They can even use their hands to provide further guidance.

Play around with positions

If you’re new to the strap life, getting used to it can take some time. Begin by trying positions where the receiver has control over sensation. This can include:

• Cowgirl style (receiver on top)

• Spooning (side-by-side)

• Doggy-style

Types of strap-ons and how to choose

Fancy some foreplay?

Different body types, genders, and desires will dictate what kind of product serves your needs, but size and fit are two major factors. Always pick one with multiple adjustment points for a more molded fit.

How to choose a harness

If you’re not using a suction base dildo with a suction harness, it’s essential to measure the size of the harness’s o-ring and compare it to the width of the dildo base. Harnesses can come in the style of:

• Underwear: These are one of the most comfortable options. They look like briefs and are worn like regular underwear or briefs.

• Thong: This style features a strap that goes between the butt cheeks and is a great choice for those who want lingerie-style looks.

• Jock strap: With this version, straps are placed over the butt cheeks and the waist or slipped over the thigh.

Try to choose materials that you’re not sensitive to or irritated by. For added stimulation, vulva owners might want to add a bullet vibrator inside the harness.

How to choose a dildo

Smaller dildos are ideal for beginners as they’re both easier for the wearer to control and less intimidating for the receiver. Go up in size based on experience—as you begin to get a hold of thrusting, larger dildos will be easier to control. Smaller may be better for anal play, at least for beginners. Vulva owners might prefer a textured dildo or one with a curve that can stimulate the G-spot.

Some even vibrate and squirt. Aesthetically, there are realistic versions that match skin tone and look like a penis (ideal for those with gender dysphoria), as well as brightly colored versions that don’t mimic genitals.

Strapless strap-on dildos

A strapless strap-on can also double as a vibrator, stimulating both the wearer and receiver. These products are usually designed for vulva owners to use together. The wearer can insert one end inside to stimulate the G-spot and, with every thrust, experience the same pleasure that the receiver is enjoying.

This wearable, double-ended sex toy is great for simultaneous orgasms and flexes to the wearer's body. To use one, put a generous amount of lube on both ends. For the wearer, place the insertable portion into the vaginal opening accordingly. Then, squeeze those muscles! Keep in mind that thrusting is more difficult with this unique couple sex toy and requires some powerful pelvic muscles!

Practice makes perfect

There’s a wide range of harnesses and dildos out there, so strap up, use your imagination, and get to experimenting! With time, you’ll figure out what styles you prefer, how to get a better fit, and what movement feels like with this appendage attached to your body. This accessory has benefits for men, women, and everyone in between. Regardless of your gender, open yourself up to new realms of mind-blowing pleasure with the help of a strap-on.