All aboard! Set sail for pleasure with Admiral's All Hands on Deck Masturbation Cream. This premium lubricant will have you at full mast in no time. Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal, this cream glides on smooth and provides cushion for the pushin' whether you're riding the high seas solo or with a willing first mate. Infused with sweet almond oil, each stroke will leave you moisturized from bow to stern. No need to drop anchor when the motion of the ocean gets rough, this friction-eliminating formula lets you plow straight through and keep pumping along. Once applied, sit back, unfurl your sails and let the Admiral chart a course for climax cove. Land ho!