The Art Of Foreplay- Using Sex Toys To Build Anticipation
Many people think that foreplay is just an optional prelude that leads up to sex. In reality, it should be a mandatory part of any sexual routine—especially for vulva owners. Often described as “outercourse,” foreplay is often what happens before intercourse, but it can also be considered as sex itself since penetration isn’t the only thing that defines the main event.
Along with warming you up mentally and physically, foreplay can increase emotional intimacy between partners. But what is foreplay, exactly? It comes in all forms and might look different for cis-het people, queer people, and non-binary people.
Simple acts like kissing and cuddling can boost the release of feel-good hormones such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. This reduces stress while helping you truly connect with your partner and allowing you to be fully present in the moment. Communicating with your partner about what you may want to try during foreplay can strengthen your bond and help you understand each other’s desires more clearly.
The physical benefits include increased blood flow to the genitals (a.k.a., helping both parties get to peak arousal), added natural lubrication (although some people may always need lube, which is completely normal), and an increased likelihood of orgasm.
The best sex toys for foreplay
Once the door to foreplay is open, the possibilities are endless. There are tons of different toys and activities that you can try out. Sensation play, for instance, is a spectrum. More gentle and sensual foreplay ideas can include feather ticklers, massage oils, or massage oil candles; if you want to take things up a level and experiment with pain, start with light spanking and move on to impact play like Wartenberg wheels, whips, paddles, or floggers. Restraint sets like cuffs or ties can be a great way to play with power dynamics, but with any BDSM play, consent, pre-play discussions, and safe words are vital.
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Scandal® Universal Cuff Set Perfect for beginners and seasoned kinksters alike, these cuffs are the ideal accessory for any fantasy. Tease, tickle and please your partner into a frenzy of pleasure once they're at your mercy. |
Another versatile addition to your routine can be vibrators and massagers. There are even strokers, or sex toys for men, that can help spice up a handjob or blowjob. Clitoral stimulators, g-spot toys, wands, and other vibes can all enhance pleasure and be used on their own or in combination with oral sex, fingering, and even during sex.
Some toys are even designed specifically for this purpose, like blindfolds, lingerie, erotic party games, and wearable vibrators that come in a pair of sex panties. These accessories are designed to tease and satisfy the users in many ways. Lingerie can visually stimulate and excite someone before touching their partner, whereas blindfolds heighten arousal differently, allowing us to focus fully on touch.
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Flavored accessories like oils, condoms, flavored dust, or edible body paint can also take things up a notch. Wearable panties, on the other hand, put our partner in control of the pleasure, letting them take us to the edge before backing down again. |
Building anticipation: using sex toys creatively
Using a blindfold is one of the most approachable and non-intimidating ways to explore each other’s bodies or your own. Depriving senses allow you to focus on others, and the feeling of anticipation can really build things up. Play around with how you use this accessory—you can blindfold each other and masturbate or go down on each other. Perhaps feed your partner chocolates or something else to experiment with food play.
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Scandal® Blackout Eye Mask What devilish delights await in the velvety darkness? With two layers of silky fabric blocking out any hint of light, your lover's caresses become electric, every touch a jolt of pleasure. Heighten your arousal with the loss of sight, give yourself over to the unknown and thrill in each unexpected sensation. |
Temperature play (while blindfolded or not) is another fun way to fool around. You can rub ice cubes on each other, pour hot body-friendly wax from a massage candle, or use heated/cooled glass and stainless steel toys on each other. While you can’t safely heat silicone toys, technology has blessed us with heated sex toys that feature an innovative warming feature to make things hot and heavy.
If BDSM sounds a little scary to you, there are plenty of beginner-friendly tools to try instead, such as tassels, feathers ticklers, and teasers to give you goosebumps. Some tassels are even attached to nipple clamps with adjustable tension. With many whips, you can customize sensation by striking more lightly and moving up intensity if you ever decide to do so. Be sure only to hit fleshy parts of the body away from vital organs. Feel free to pair this all with some seductive or straight-up nasty dirty talk—whatever turns you on!
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Fetish Fantasy Limited Edition Feather Crop Tease and please your willing subject by gliding those feathers over their most sensitive spots before bringing the crop down upon their quivering flesh for a burst of sharp sensation that hurts in just the right way. |
Mutual exploration with sex toys for couples and beyond
When finding the right sexual foreplay for you and a partner, communication is essential, and not just with BDSM play. Discussing desires and boundaries can help you get on the right page and respect each other throughout the process.
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1,000 Sex Games Bored in the boudoir? Not anymore with 1,000 Sex Games, a treasure trove of titillating escapades to heat things up between the sheets. Start with a foreplay card for stripping, kissing or erotic feasting. Then pick a passion card to maximize pleasure during the main event. |
Adult board games, dice games, and other XXX party games are ideal for both monogamous and polyamorous people. You can even get daring with friends before you go home and tear each other’s clothes off. These games are a great way to lighten the mood and make things feel less repetitive, especially if you’ve been in a relationship for quite some time.
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Drink If… This dangerously hilarious party game is guaranteed to reveal secrets you never wanted to know about your friends and severely impair your judgment. Roll the oversized die to discover one of 1200 scandalous "Drink If.. scenarios on the accompanying list. |
Using couples’ sex toys is also a way to boost mutual pleasure. Whether it’s a panty vibe or a wearable vibrator that can be used for hands-free fulfillment during sex, these toys can help increase satisfaction and maintain desire in a long-term relationship. Sex toys for men and women can pulse, buzz, or thrust, and finding what works for you is just a matter of trial and error.
Don’t be afraid to stock up on some toys and see what you like best. Couples kits with a variety of toys like bullets, cock rings, and accessories can also encourage you to explore new heights of pleasure and try things out.
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BANG! Couple's Love Ring, Finger Vibe, Bullet, & Blindfold Kit Tired of the same old, same old in the bedroom? This kit was crafted to inspire couples to explore new heights of pleasure together. Slip the finger vibe on and tease your partner's pleasure points to warm them up for the main event, or equip the love ring and send pulsing vibrations down the full length of your package for toe-curling sensations. |
Advanced techniques: elevating foreplay with innovative toys
Beyond heated toys, other state-of-the-art pleasure devices on the market can elevate your foreplay. If you’re in a long-distance relationship or want to experiment with control dynamics, app-connected devices can be an incredible way to tease your partner. Remote-controlled toys can also allow couples to play in different locations, whether it’s a different room or across a crowded bar or party where no one else knows your dirty little secret.
Role-play is another way to add some sizzle. Whether you’re dressing in uniform, putting on a wig, or just pretending to be strangers meeting for the first time, bringing that sense of novelty into the mix can be a daring way to turn you on. Even fantasy toys like anal plugs with an attached faux bunny trail or fox tail, creature-inspired dildos, and strap-ons can help you indulge in your imagination without any shame.
Conclusion
Ultimately, there can be so many benefits to incorporating sex toys into foreplay, from psychological and emotional to physical. It can revive the spark in your relationship and increase communication while encouraging exploration and creativity to bond you further. Whether your intimate relationship is casual or serious, this activity won’t just help you not just understand your partner better. It’ll help you understand your brain and body better than ever without feeling embarrassed about the multitudes of desires that live within you.
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